"Golfing Under the Influence" Funny Golf Towel

The "Golfing Under the Influence" golf towel is a black 16" x 24" microfiber bag towel with a carabiner clip, printed with a yellow caution-sign graphic reading "Proceed at Your Own Risk." The reverse is plain black. It absorbs water fast, lifts grit off clubfaces, and clips to a bag.

Black Microfiber Golf Towel Specs

Why Split-Fibre Microfiber Beats Cotton on a Bag Towel

Microfiber is made by splitting synthetic filament into strands finer than a human hair, which produces a star-shaped cross-section full of grooves. Water gets pulled in by capillary action rather than soaked up, and split-fibre microfiber typically holds around seven times its dry weight in water.

Cotton actually holds more total volume than that — but it holds it slowly, and once saturated it stays saturated. On a golf bag that is the wrong trade. You want a towel that takes water off a grip instantly and gives it back to the air between holes, not one that arrives at the turn as a wet brick.

The second difference matters more on a clubface. Cotton's round fibres push grit across a surface; microfiber's split edges lift it out and hold it. On a wedge that is the difference between a clean groove and a face full of packed dirt that kills spin.

A Black Towel and a Plain Reverse — Both Deliberate

Light-coloured bag towels look good for exactly one round. Grass stain, bunker sand and cart-path dust show on them immediately, and no wash cycle fully takes it back out. Black hides all three, which is why it is the default for anyone who actually uses a towel rather than carrying one.

The reverse being plain is the more useful design decision. The caution-sign face is what people see clipped to your bag; the plain black side is what you drag across a muddy wedge. Two faces with two jobs means the graphic stays presentable for a season instead of getting worn out by the actual work.

Fold it over the strap and you still get four usable surfaces to rotate through across 18 holes.

Who It Suits — and Who to Give It To

Cart golfers, scramble teams and buddies-trip foursomes — anyone whose round involves a cooler and a group that will read the towel out loud on the first tee.

As a gift it needs no sizing, no fitting and no brand knowledge, and every golfer uses a bag towel every round. It works as a tournament prize, a charity-scramble giveaway, a golf-trip gift or a birthday present for the friend who already owns the equipment he needs.

Funny Golf Towel FAQs

What size is this golf towel?
16" x 24", the standard bag-towel size. Folded over a bag strap it gives you four usable faces, which is enough dry surface for a full 18 holes.

Is the design printed on both sides?
No. The yellow caution-sign graphic is on the front only. The reverse is plain black, which is the side most people use for the dirty work.

Does a black golf towel show dirt?
Far less than a light one. Grass stain, sand and cart-path dust are the three things that mark a bag towel permanently, and black hides all of them.

How do I wash a microfiber golf towel?
Machine wash cold and tumble dry low. Skip the fabric softener — it coats the split fibres and kills the capillary action that makes the towel absorbent in the first place. Wash every few rounds, more often if you play wet.

Does it come with a clip?
Yes. Every Heavy Strokes towel ships with a carabiner clip that attaches to a golf bag, push cart or cart rail.

Shipping, Returns & Contact

• Free U.S. shipping on orders over $91 — see the shipping policy for current delivery windows
• Returns accepted per the refund policy
• Questions? 720-295-5084 · info@heavystrokes.com
• Browse the full range of funny golf towels, or pair it with the Damage Control divot tool