Which Heavy Strokes collection you want

• Buying for yourself and you play wet or muddy courses — start with the towels. A waffle-weave bag towel is the accessory that gets used every single hole.
• Buying for sun, or you just want the look — hats. Rope and camo styles with a contrast under-brim and a laser-drilled vented crown.
• Buying something small to round out a bag — accessories. Divot tools and ball markers are the two items every golfer loses and nobody thinks to replace.
• Buying for someone else — go straight to gifts. It is curated across the other three collections specifically so you do not have to know their size or their brand loyalty.

What each collection covers

A note on what "designed in the USA" means here

Heavy Strokes designs and prints in the United States. That covers the artwork, the print and the finishing — it is not a claim that every raw component is US-milled, and we are not going to pretend otherwise. See the shipping and returns pages for delivery windows.

Frequently asked questions

What is Heavy Strokes?
Heavy Strokes is a veteran-founded US golf accessories brand selling printed microfiber golf towels, golf hats, and small course accessories like divot tools and ball markers. The range is built around golf gear with a joke on it that still works as equipment — the towels are waffle-weave microfiber with a carabiner clip, not novelty items.

Where can I buy funny golf gear?
Direct from heavystrokes.com. Everything ships from the US, and the four collections above cover towels, hats, accessories and pre-curated gifts. Prices sit between $27.99 and $30.99 for towels, with the wider range under $50.

What is a good golf gift under $50?
A bag towel is the safest option under $50 because there is no sizing, no fitting, and no brand loyalty to guess at. Every golfer uses one every round. If you already know they have a towel they like, a divot tool with a ball marker is the second-safest — it is the item golfers most often lose and least often replace.

Funny Golf Towels for Men

Funny golf towels are microfiber bag towels printed with a joke or a slogan, built to pull grit out of clubface grooves and dry your hands between shots. Heavy Strokes towels are waffle-weave microfiber with a carabiner clip, priced $27.99–$30.99 and designed in the USA.

How to choose a golf towel

• Pick waffle-weave microfiber if you play wet or muddy courses. The raised grid lifts grit out of the grooves instead of smearing it across the face.
• Pick smooth microfiber if you mostly wipe hands and grips. Softer, dries faster, less aggressive on a wet clubface.
• Go 16" x 24" or larger if you want to fold it over the bag strap. Smaller if you clip it and forget it.
• Check the clip, not the fabric. A carabiner survives a full round on a bumpy cart path; a grommet-and-hook does not.
• Buying it as a gift? Match the joke to the golfer, not to yourself.

Golf towel types compared

Golf towel FAQ

What size golf towel should I get?
16" x 24" is the standard bag-towel size and the one most golfers want. It folds over a bag strap, covers a full clubface, and still clips out of the way. An 11" x 18" towel works if you clip it on and only use it for hands and grips. The 22" x 44" tour size is what caddies carry — you wet the bottom half for scrubbing and keep the top half dry for grips.

Are waffle-weave golf towels better than regular microfiber?
For cleaning clubs, yes. The raised waffle texture traps and lifts dirt out of the grooves rather than pushing it around the face. Smooth microfiber is softer and dries faster, which makes it better for hands and grips than for muddy irons. Most golfers who play in wet conditions end up carrying both.

Is a golf towel different from a regular towel?
Functionally, yes. A golf towel is built to scrub — the weave is chosen to lift grass and soil out of clubface grooves, not just absorb water — and it has a clip or grommet so it hangs off the bag. A hand towel will do in a pinch. It will not clean grooves as well and you will spend the round picking it up off the cart floor.

Can you machine wash a golf towel?
Yes. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and skip the fabric softener — softener coats microfiber fibres and kills the absorbency that makes the towel work. Wash it every few rounds, more often if you play wet. Do not iron a printed towel.

How much do funny golf towels cost?
Heavy Strokes towels run $27.99 to $30.99. Across the wider US market, printed microfiber golf towels sit between $20 and $35 depending on size, weave and whether a clip is included. Prices correct at time of writing.

Do funny golf towels make a good gift?
They are one of the safest golf gifts because there is no sizing, no fitting and no brand loyalty to get wrong. Any golfer uses a bag towel every round, and a printed one gets noticed by the rest of the group — which is most of the point.

Golf Hats for Men

Golf hats for men are structured caps built for four hours in direct sun: vented crown, moisture-handling sweatband, and a dark under-brim to cut glare off the fairway. Heavy Strokes hats come in rope, camo and performance styles with laser-drilled vent holes, sewn patches and a velcro strap that fits most heads.

How to choose a golf hat

• Pick a rope hat for the classic tour look. Structured front panel, braided cord above the brim, snapback or velcro closure.
• Pick camo if you want the pattern to do the work and a plain patch to sit on top of it.
• Choose a contrast under-brim in a dark colour if you play in bright sun — it absorbs glare bouncing up off the turf instead of reflecting it into your eyes.
• Take the vented crown seriously in summer. Laser-drilled holes move air without the trucker-mesh look.
• Velcro or snapback beats fitted if you are buying for someone else. You do not need to know their head size.

Golf hat styles compared

Golf hat FAQ

What is a rope hat, and what is the rope actually for?
A rope hat is a cap with a thin braided cord stitched across the front panel just above the brim, usually on a structured five-panel or A-frame crown. The braid was borrowed from naval and boating caps, where a cord marked rank. On a golf hat today it is decorative — it will not add meaningful sun protection or keep the hat on in wind, whatever you read elsewhere. It is a style detail, and it looks good, which is a fine reason to buy one.

Do I need to know a hat size to buy a golf hat?
Not for these. Heavy Strokes hats use a velcro adjustable strap, which covers the large majority of adult head sizes without measuring. That is what makes a hat a workable gift — fitted caps are the ones where you need a number, and getting it wrong means a return.

How do you wash a golf hat without wrecking the shape?
Hand wash in cool water with a small amount of mild detergent, work the sweatband with a soft brush, rinse, and air dry on something round — a balled towel or a bowl — so the crown keeps its shape. Do not run a structured cap through a dishwasher or a hot dryer. Heat is what collapses the front panel and pulls the brim out of its curve.

Why do golf hats have a dark under-brim?
A dark under-brim absorbs light reflecting up off the turf and the sand instead of bouncing it back into your eyes. It is the same principle as the black grease baseball players wear under their eyes. On a bright day over four hours it is a noticeable difference, which is why it is on every Heavy Strokes cap.

What kind of hats do golfers actually wear?
The structured five-panel cap is the default — rope, performance and snapback variants of the same base shape. Bucket hats have come back for full-sun days and cover the ears and neck that a cap leaves exposed. Visors are still around but are a minority. Anything unstructured tends to lose its shape once it gets sweat in it.

Golf Accessories

Golf accessories are the small items that live in the bag and get used every round: divot tools, ball markers, and the bits that clip to a strap. They are the cheapest way to fill a gap in someone's setup, and the items golfers most reliably lose. Heavy Strokes accessories are designed in the USA.

How to choose

• A divot tool with a magnetic ball marker in the handle solves two problems with one item and one pocket.
• Two prongs or four is preference, not performance. Technique matters more than the tool — see the FAQ.
• Buy a marker you can identify at a glance. The reason people lose them is that they look like every coin in the pocket.
• If it clips to a bag strap, check the clip is a carabiner and not a split ring. Split rings work loose over a season.

Accessory types compared

Golf accessories FAQ

What is a divot tool?
A divot tool is a small two- or four-pronged tool used to repair the crater a golf ball leaves when it lands on a green. Most modern versions hold a magnetic ball marker in the handle. It is not for fairway divots — those get the turf plug stamped back down, or sand from the cart, depending on the course.

How do you use a divot tool properly?
Insert the prongs at the edge of the ball mark, angled slightly inward, and push the turf toward the centre. Work around the mark doing that. Then tap the surface flat with the sole of your putter. The mistake nearly everyone makes is levering the centre upward — that tears the roots underneath and kills the grass, which is worse than not repairing it at all. A mark fixed properly and straight away recovers in about a day; one left open can take weeks.

Can you just use a coin as a ball marker?
Yes. Any small flat object is acceptable for marking your ball. A purpose-made marker is easier to spot in the grass and easier to pick out of a pocket full of tees and change, which is the practical argument for owning one rather than a rules argument.

What accessories does every golfer actually need?
A bag towel, a divot tool, a ball marker, and more tees than you think. Everything past that is preference. The four items above are the ones that get used every round regardless of handicap, which is also why they are the safest things to buy for a golfer you do not know well.

Funny Golf Gifts for Golfers

Funny golf gifts are golf accessories printed with a joke — bag towels, hats and ball markers that get used every round rather than displayed once and forgotten. Everything in this collection is under $50, needs no sizing, and requires no knowledge of which brand they are loyal to.

How to choose a golf gift

• Do not buy equipment. Clubs, balls and gloves are the three things golfers are genuinely particular about, and a wrong guess is a return.
• Buy something they use every hole. A bag towel gets touched more times in a round than anything except the clubs.
• Skip anything that needs a size. Hats with velcro straps work; fitted caps and apparel do not, unless you already know.
• Under $30 is a real gift here, not a token. This category does not require spending to be thoughtful.
• Match the joke to the golfer. The whole value of a funny gift is that it sounds like them, not like you.

Golf gifts by budget

Golf gifts FAQ

What do you get a golfer who has everything?
Something consumable or something losable. A golfer with a full bag still loses ball markers, still wears out towels, and still has exactly one hat they wear until it falls apart. The things they "have everything" of are clubs and gadgets — the small stuff turns over constantly and nobody buys it for themselves.

How much should you spend on a golf gift?
$20 to $50 covers almost every non-equipment golf gift worth giving. Below $20 you are into single small items, which work best paired. Above $50 you are moving into equipment, where personal preference makes a guess risky — golf balls alone run up to $55 a dozen and golfers are firmly loyal to one model.

What is a good gift for someone new to golf?
The accessories they do not know they need yet. A new golfer buys clubs and balls and forgets everything else — a bag towel, a divot tool and a decent supply of tees fill the gaps they will hit in their first month of playing.

Is a funny golf gift a safe choice, or does it read as a gag?
It depends entirely on whether the item works. A joke printed on something useless is a gag gift and gets thrown out. A joke printed on a waffle-weave microfiber towel that cleans grooves properly is a piece of equipment with a joke on it, which is a different thing — it stays in the bag because it works, and the joke is the reason it gets mentioned.

What are the best golf gifts under $50?
A printed bag towel at $27.99–$30.99 is the strongest single item in that range: no sizing, no brand risk, used every round. Pair it with a ball marker or a hat to fill the rest of the budget. Everything in this collection sits under $50 for that reason.